Cut off

When does this fade?

This feeling of insecurity, this feeling of inaptness, this feeling of discontentment.

Is there a cut off time when you actually stop comparing yourself to others?

Is it a personal decision? is it a God given revelation? is it due to circumstances? (ie: death of a family member, turning 30 or becoming a father)

Matthew 13:19-23 (Amplified)

^19 [h]While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside.

²⁰ As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy;

²¹ Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and begins to distrust and desert Him Whom he ought to trust and obey] and he falls away.

²² As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit.

²³ As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty.

Yesterday’s sermon reminded me that I am weak and have been deceit by the riches and cares of this world. the turning point is now, whether i have a job or not; whether i have sales or not; i choose to have a soft heart and trust God in everything.

When shit hits the fan

It really didn’t make any sense to me when my ex manager told me this ‘line’ at the time, but once you know how much mess you’re in.. it makes perfect sense.

So then, what do you do? when shit hits the fan.. assuming the fan is switched on to full speed.

You switch it off, and clean up the mess. You deal with it.

Grace

2 Samuel 12:16-23 (MSG)

^15-18 After Nathan went home, God afflicted the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he came down sick. David prayed desperately to God for the little boy. He fasted, wouldn’t go out, and slept on the floor. The elders in his family came in and tried to get him off the floor, but he wouldn’t budge. Nor could they get him to eat anything. On the seventh day the child died. David’s servants were afraid to tell him. They said, “What do we do now? While the child was living he wouldn’t listen to a word we said. Now, with the child dead, if we speak to him there’s no telling what he’ll do.”

¹⁹ David noticed that the servants were whispering behind his back, and realized that the boy must have died.

He asked the servants, “Is the boy dead?”

“Yes,” they answered. “He’s dead.”

When God takes away something you are trying to keep; When God tries to kill something you’ve been trying to keep alive.. 

God will not do what you ask Him to do, but He will give you the grace to carry on and go through it.

²⁰ David got up from the floor, washed his face and combed his hair, put on a fresh change of clothes, then went into the sanctuary and worshiped. Then he came home and asked for something to eat. They set it before him and he ate.

²¹ His servants asked him, “What’s going on with you? While the child was alive you fasted and wept and stayed up all night. Now that he’s dead, you get up and eat.”

^22-23 “While the child was alive,” he said, “I fasted and wept, thinking God might have mercy on me and the child would live. But now that he’s dead, why fast? Can I bring him back now? I can go to him, but he can’t come to me.”

David went into the sanctuary and worshiped despite God not showing mercy to his son. Sometimes, we have to accept God’s way and continue to press on. 

2014

we are 13 days into 2015 and all I want to do right now-now, is to properly reflect on the year 2014.

it was a ‘laughable’ year for me.

Last year, I became a husband (I married end of 2013).

Here’s a quick summary of Q1:
January, I went Phuket with Siew Lee for our honeymoon. Honeymoon phase begin.
February, Siew Lee and I celebrated CNY in Batu Pahat and Muar. Adjustment phase started.
March, I brought Siew Lee to visit Tawau for the first time.

Defining moment (Part I- Q2)
April was the month that probably defined 2014 for me. It was a great month, I received a huge bonus from HSBC end of March and I managed to purchase a place for Siew Lee and myself in Old Klang Road. April was also the month where my parents became very involved in JEUNESSE, a multilevel marketing company.

I’ve seen how my parents were positively impacted by the activities and marketing plan by this company. Suddenly, their conversations were no longer just about an illegitimate child, dad’s previous affairs, the possibility of divorce. They were finally out from their cave and actively sharing with their friends about the benefits of Jeunesse products and commission scheme.

I wanted to help my mom further, to see how this business gave her confidence and joy again after witnessing her gone through hell the past few years, I got myself involved and became her downline. I wanted to carry and build her business in KL and see her retire comfortably without depending on a man who might leave her any time.

I started joining weekly meetings. I started listening to CDs, webinars and watching videos to educate myself thoroughly on the product and marketing plan. I spent alot of time listening to motivational talks and surrounded myself with Jeunesse top performers. I was really on fire at one point! I started investing more money into it; I flew to Hong Kong for their Expo and even went Taiwan myself the following month to expand my business by introducing these products to my Taiwanese clients.

Defining moment (part II- Q3)

I was in Taipei, alone in a shabby budget inn which I’ve booked on Agoda.com. I had planned out my stay there; to visit every client and business partner I had in Taipei and speak to them about Jeanuesse.

The plan backfired as most my clients were not interested. Although they were wealthy and could afford it, they just didn’t want to join another MLM company. I felt embarrassed and lost. I didn’t know what I was doing in a foreign land- trying to sell anti aging cream and lotion which I myself never used.

I spent the first few nights in Taipei crying to God and asking Him for a greater purpose. I felt comforted and had peace that I was in Taipei for something more. I pushed my agenda aside and began to meet my clients with speaking to them about their story, as I was curious of what they did to become successful. The more I speak to them, the more exposed I became to the opportunities that are constantly around me. I knew that I’ve been sitting in the Bank for too long and have been missing out on so many possibilities out there.

When I came back from Taiwan, I decided to quit Jeunesse and quit my banking job and start my career in Properties. I say ‘career’, but actually.. It’s just me wanting to be part of something WAY bigger than I could ever imagined. One thing I’ve learned from all these motivational speakers and sales gurus, it is to think BIG! and Property was definitely IT.

defining moment (Part III- Q4)

I started this property gig officially in October. The past 3-4 months have been overwhelming to say the least! I got what I wanted, I was exposed to crazy huge deals!

One thing in property, you never know what is from God and what is just coincidence. Every call I make or receive, every viewing I managed to arrange, every listing that came my way, every enquiry I received, every client I handled, was a testimony in the making.

My first week in property, I am already part of deal involving a Taiwanese consortium’s search for an en-bloc office building. The deal was worth approx RM140 million, broker’s commission is 1% after sharing with another agent. That’s more than a million dollar in commission! That deal didn’t work out, but from that experience I met with a few top agents and learned many insider insights to the industry.

In the span of 3 months,
I was appointed by a HSBC client to sell a land in Taman Melawati that’s worth RM21 million.
Another HSBC client wanted to sell her bungalow land in Seri Kembangan for RM5.5 million.
I spoke to a client who wanted to sell their land near Kenny Hills for RM45 million through cold calling.
I had listings in Damansara Heights, KLCC, Ampang Hilir, Mont Kiara all from my HSBC contacts.
I became a core member in our Australian properties team, marketing Perth and Melbourne projects.
I attended numerous trainings, participated in roadshows, organized private functions, set up webinar calls.

Why did I mention “laughable” in the beginning? it is because I have not closed any sale. That’s right, no income for the last 4 months. As much as I’ve enjoyed the time freedom/Flexibility, I am not able to sustain myself any more. I gave myself 4 months, and times up.

Opportunity cost for this gig was huge. Salary up to RM20k, commission held-to be paid in March RM20k burned.
I had to cancel my Melbourne Anniversary trip with Siew Lee due to cash flow problem (air tickets burned). I had to withdraw money from EPF to pay my first Mortgage loan. I had used up all my savings and even had to borrow money from my wife.

I pray to God every day asking Him why me, why Jeunesse, why Taiwan, why property. Did I chase and pursue the things of this earth? Am I wrong to dream just a little bigger and try to achieve something more daring in life? If I was pursuing things of this world and was completely blinded, then I thank God for this eye opening experience.

In Faith, I will be working in Hong Leong Bank by end of this month. It is only by grace, that a bank would hire me again. Same Position, higher pay, and a chance to start over.

BLIND

Siew Lee’s brother Alan introduced to us DIALOGUE IN THE DARK recently held in KLCC.

DIALOGUE IN THE DARK is basically a WORKSHOP, similar to the FAMINE CAMPAIGN… which allows the Public to experience what a BLIND person experience on a daily basis. You enter a DARK ROOM, COMPLETE DARKNESS! and pretend you were blind for that entire Hour.

The guide would introduce herself to us and guide us through the Dark Room (Giving instructions such as “TOUCH THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE WALL!”, “CAN YOU FEEL THE BENCH NEXT TO YOU?”, “PLEASE FOLLOW MY VOICE” etc etc… So there are a couple of THEME that we go through; such as TRAFFIC! and how we- as blind people- need to walk across the road; learning how to utilize those beeping noise coming out from the traffic light; Or how to use an ATM Machine without being able to see the numbers or options on the screen; and even buying the daily necessities in a Busy MARKET where we get to touch, feel and smell different veges and fruits and spices.

At the end of our tour in the dark, we get to have coffee. We pay real money, to drink real coffee, and have a real conversation with our Guide.

Siew Lee’s Mother repeatedly asked our Guide at the beginning of the Tour.. “Wah How do you manage to see/guide us in the dark?! Very impressive!”

This is when the guide finally responded; revealing to us that she is actually a Blind person. Hence, not having any trouble moving about in the dark. It was a shock to us, and this led to a Q&A question.

The Q&A question essentially is to expose us to the reality of blind person’s life and how from this experience, we will be able treat them with respect and equality; but aside from the awareness aspect.. this was supposed to help us to appreciate our sight as well as other little things we could have taken granted for.

Being Malaysian, the questions asked were probably more ‘General’ and ‘safe’.

Ie: When did you get blind? How do you travel? What do you do these days? How did you get involved in Dialogue in the dark?

To communicate a message.. specifically the message of APPRECIATING WHAT YOU HAVE, I felt the blind person could have spoke more about her struggles and hitting rock bottom when she first found out that she could not see.

I would have asked questions such as “what was your first reaction when you realize that you would not see again”; “how did you communicate to your boss and your colleagues that you were not able to come work”, “how do you find purpose and joy in this life”..Just to add oomph to that session.

after that session, when we walked out from the Dark room and saw our guide for the first time, Siew Lee’s Mother shut off my entire sadistic train of thoughts by saying to our Guide ” Praise the Lord for you are such a Joyful person!”, “Do you know Jesus? (which she replied yes)”, “Your are so beautiful!”.

Instead of acknowledging there is Blind people in our midst and we must treat them as equals; being able to encourage them and love them unconditionally, perhaps that was God’s way of showing them that He still loves them and cares for them.

my joy is mine.

“If people take your car park away, give them your car park.. but don’t let them take away your joy with it” Mother-inlaw

cranky old man

(Originally by Phyllis McCormack; adapted by Dave Griffith)

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!

 

Nurse’s Response to Cranky Old Man (Poem)

What do we see, you ask, what do we see?

Yes, we are thinking when looking at thee!
We may seem to be hard when we hurry and fuss,
But there’s many of you, and too few of us.
We would like far more time to sit by you and talk,
To bath you and feed you and help you to walk.
To hear of your lives and the things you have done;
Your childhood, your husband, your daughter, and your son.
But time is against us, there’s too much to do –
Patients too many, and nurses too few.
We grieve when we see you so sad and alone,
With nobody near you, no friends of your own.
We feel all your pain, and know of your fear
That nobody cares now your end is so near.
But nurses are people with feelings as well,
And when we’re together you’ll often hear tell,
Of the dearest old Gran in the very end bed,
And the lovely old Dad, and the things that he said,
We speak with compassion and love, and feel sad
When we think of your lives and the joy that you’ve had.
When the time has arrived for you to depart,
You leave us behind with an ache in our heart.
When you sleep the long sleep, no more worry or care,
There are other old people, and we must be there.
So please understand if we hurry and fuss –
There are many of you, and too few of us.

cheers

Andrew and Christina decided to open a bottle MOET for Siew Lee and I when they heard we got engaged. it’s probably the sweetest thing anyone have done for both of us. ever. thank you!

immortal

When it was day, the Jews made a plot and bound themselves by an oath neither to eat nor drink till they had killed Paul. (Acts 23:12)

What about those hungry fellows who promised not to eat till they ambushed Paul?

We read about them in Acts 23:12, “When it was day, the Jews made a plot and bound themselves by an oath neither to eat nor drink till they had killed Paul.” It didn’t work. Why? Because a string of unlikely events happened.

A boy overheard the plot.
The boy was the son of Paul’s sister.
The boy had the courage to go to the Roman centurion guarding Paul.
The centurion took him seriously and brought him to the Tribune.
The Tribune believed him and prepared “two hundred soldiers, with seventy horsemen and two hundred spearmen” to take Paul to safety.
Highly unlikely. Strange. But that’s what happened.

What had the hungry men lying in ambush missed? They failed to reckon with what happened to Paul just before they made their plot. The Lord appeared to Paul in prison and said, “Take courage, for as you have testified to the facts about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome” (Acts 23:11).

Christ said Paul was going to Rome. And that was that. No ambush can stand against the promise of Christ. Until he got to Rome, Paul was immortal. There was a final testimony to be given. And Christ would see to it that Paul would give it.

You too have final testimony to give. And you are immortal until you give it.

source: John Piper daily devotional app- 18th Feb.

Valentine

In Matthew 27:45-46, it says, “Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour. ⁴⁶And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is 

“My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?” 

I recently heard a pastor preached this, saying that this is the only time Jesus did not refer God as Father, but his ‘God’. 

When Jesus is crying out ‘my God, my God’, he is not in the position of the son; but the position of men.

Hence, he did not just die FOR you. He died AS you. 

your sins, your sickness, your thoughts, your nature… it was all on the cross, with Him.

Galations 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life now I live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.